For A Good Time Call
by swlfangirl
Summary: He'd been talking to his messenger of "God" on the phone for quite some time now, it wasn't an unfamiliar thing but what had developed over the past few months was certainly very different. If he had to pinpoint an exact call, he'd have to say it was the night he left Cas at the Gas-N-Sip while he drove back to the bunker.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is based on a tumblr promt from fireintheimpala, love that girl.. anyway..I want you guys to know it's not all gonna be phone sex but this one is.. so if that's not your thing you should probably turn back..I'm not sure how far I'm going with this but as of right now I've got at least 3 calls in the making.**_

Dean wasn't sure exactly why it started, only that it did and he wasn't regretting it at all. The beep notifying him of a text, the late night quiet blast of the chorus of "Angel's" by 69 Eyes, or the voice messages he replayed from time to time. Basically anything that caused his phone to vibrate brought an immediate smile to his face unless Sam was in the room, and even then it was like fighting a damn demon inside, to which he usually failed.

He'd been talking to his messenger of "God" on the phone for quite some time now, it wasn't an unfamiliar thing but what had developed over the past few months was certainly very different. If he had to pinpoint an exact call, he'd have to say it was the night he left Cas at the Gas-N-Sip while he drove back to the bunker. He'd never tell Sam this, but he even stopped off at an all night Wal-mart and bought a headset for his phone so he didn't have to hold onto talked almost the entire drive back, well except for the six hours Dean spent eating, grabbing a hotel room, and catnapping for four and a half hours.

It was nearly a days drive after you counted in the necessary stops, so he'd spent a good portion of the last twenty hours or so on the phone with Cas and his perspective had gradually grown more positive. He was humming along with the radio between calls and quickly realized his face was a little sore from smiling and laughing. It wasn't anything specific really, they just talked. It was light, it was friendly, it was incredibly hilarious when the fallen Angel didn't understand what he meant most of the time. It left him room to casually flirt, after all that was nearly half of Dean's personality, so he let himself loose. Even if Castiel had understood, it wasn't like he was gonna get called out on it.

It was a few days later when he'd gotten caught up on his sleep that things really progressed. It started as a joke, and quite frankly he'd never been so happy that Cas didn't have much of a sense of humor. He picked up the phone from his nightstand when he'd settled into bed and hit the green button twice, automatically calling the last dialed number. The huskiness of Castiel's voice threw him off guard for a moment but he quickly recovered.

"Hey there buddy. If you're gonna be breathing heavy on me. I might have to start charging you." he teased.

"Hello Dean." Cas said in a little calmer tone. He always answered that way, no matter how many times he called the Angel always said the same thing, and it triggered something inside the hunter that caused an instantaneous smile, and a rapid increase of his heartbeat.

"Hey Cas, you okay over there?"

"Yes Dean I'm fine, if my erratic breathing is bothersome I can call you back in a few moments."

"Nah it's okay man, just wasn't expecting you to go all $2.99 per minute on me." Dean chuckled nervously, but if he were the honest type of guy he had to admit that Castiel's raspy pants were hot despite the fact that he was actively trying not to get himself worked up.

"2.99 per minute? what's that?"

"That's what Phone Sex Operators charge Cas, well normally about that.. or that's what the ads on late night infomercials always say. I wouldn't know never tried that kind of thing.. well not the paid version anyway. There was this one girl I met online, called herself fire.. man was she hot! That voice was well worth the three bucks per minute, I was just lucky she wasn't doing it professionally."

Dean stretched his body out putting one arm behind his head and hoped it would keep his hand distracted enough to not reach down and palm himself through the thin cotton that was now covering his half hard cock.

"So what you're saying is that you engaged in verbal intercorse, and that some woman named fire was responsible for your climax, over the phone?"

Dean's mind started drawing webs of information together and something was missing. He assumed that Cas had ran to the phone, or had been exerting himself in some way before answering, but the raspy breathing hadn't stopped. In fact it was growing far more intense by the moment.

"Well..umm that's not exactly how I'd say it, but I guess that's the big picture. Is this the part where I ask you what you're wearing?" Dean teased, he figured Cas would laugh it off, but he miscalculated quite a bit.

"I'm not wearing anything, clothing would certainly get in the way of what I'm trying to accomplish."

Dean swallowed hard, that was the last thing he expected to hear from the mouth of his Angel. He did everything he could to imagine there was some other reason Castiel would need to be naked and breathing heavy. He started by thinking of reasons people get naked, well there's sex and he could count that out…even Cas knew better than to answer the phone during sex. There's taking a shower, but Dean didn't hear any water running or splashing, so that marks off bathing and swimming as well. It was a short list of reasons why people get naked and masturbation was climbing the ladder quickly.

He tried to convince himself that he should just escape the call altogether, tell Cas something came up, that thought caused him to laugh because it technically wasn't a lie. He didn't think the man realized what he was doing, or that you weren't just supposed to answer the phone while you're masturbating unless there's someone you're dating or interested in on the other end of it. That's the moment it hit him, he was actually interested in Cas. Probably had been for longer than he'd admit, but the wanting him…physically was a more recent revelation.

"Uhm, Cas...What exactly are you trying to do?" Dean tried not to sound off, but he couldn't help the gruff sound in his own voice.

"I'm trying to get rid of this damn erection, the thing is taunting me Dean!" Castiel actually sounded desperate. That almost stirred a chuckle out of him, but no one deserved to be laughed at in that condition.

"It's taunting you? How is your boner taunting you Cas?" Dean asked trying not to sound like a weirdo but he felt the embarrassment rise up to his face anyway.

"All the time now, it was one thing to experience this as an Angel.. I could..well not to be crude but I could just make it go away with a simple thought. Now that I'm human, it's like I have no control over it. Every morning it harasses me, sometimes at night, once in the middle of my work day. I can't make it stop, how do you deal with this constant distraction!"

"Cas you do know how to masturbate don't you? I mean that's not something I'm gonna have to friggin teach you right?" Dean tried not to let his voice crack, and luckily he managed that task, but hearing his friend talk about being in a constant state of arousal, fueled his own cock to start throbbing.

"Yes Dean, I'm aware of what masturbation is, hence the heavy breathing.. but even achieving orgasm only keeps it from bothering me temporarily. Usually by the next morning its begging for attention again, and I've tried resisting it, that effort was futile."

"So close you almost had a Trek reference, and buddy there's no end to the madness but if you um.. you know in the morning you can usually keep it down for an eight or ten hour work day, but you'll probably have to do it again that evening." Now there was no denying it, he was rock hard thinking about Cas stroking his cock, and he was losing his battle to not touch himself too.

"But it takes so long, How much of your schedule is devoted to masturbation, because as of right now I think it would qualify as a part time job for me."

"Holy shit CAS! How long does it take you to get off?"

"Currently it's been over thirty minutes, and usually at least that sometimes double."

"How in hell's name do you masturbate for an hour, two or three times a day? Don't you watch porn or something, use some damn lotion, I don't care but it sure as hell should not take you an hour to get off."

"Do you still have the number for that fire girl, cause I'm willing to try anything at this point."

"Uh, no Cas.. umm but .. uh ..ah shit..If you want.. I mean I could .. you know.. help you or something.. If you need it.."

"Dean please tell me if I'm misunderstanding this, but are you offering to help me achieve orgasm over the phone?"

"Don't say it like that Cas, I'm just offering help, you obviously need it… and if you agree, or don't agree, this information never makes it back to Sammy. We clear?"

Dean stopped palming himself long enough to speak his brother's name, because it would be weird if he didn't. He could hear the wheels in Castiel's little Angel brain turning, asking himself if it was the right decision or not. Hell even Dean didn't know if it was a good idea, but he found it impossible not to offer.

"YES! Please Dean, just make it go away." Cas was at the point of begging apparently, and the hunter couldn't help but smile at the urgency in his voice.

"Well look, that's your first problem man.. you can't look at it like it's some sort of curse, the more you enjoy it the easier it will be to finish. If you're rejecting it your body is getting mixed signals, and that's one of the main reasons you're having so many problems with it. Just calm down a little and think about something or someone that turns you on or at least something that makes you happy. " Dean's hand brushed over the thick outline under his boxers and he had to bite his lip to hold back the moan that was begging to be let out.

"Oh, okay.. I can do that, then what do I do?"

"Try spitting on your hand, the wetness makes it feel better, it makes it more enjoyable." Dean was doing his best to stay stoic as far as Cas was concerned but he was beginning to run a little short on oxygen as well, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hide his own arousal much longer.

Dean heard the sound of his angel dampening his palm and it shot sparks of heat straight through him, he ground out a moan despite his attempts to do just the tried to hide it in a cough but it just made things more awkward. He only had two choices left, either let loose and enjoy himself or cut the call off completely, and he just couldn't do that to Cas, nor to himself.

"That better?" Dean was hesitant about asking, but other than the occasional hiss of breath and the pants, he wasn't sure how much Cas was getting out of it.

"Much, much better… wait didn't you say lotion? I have some if that helps?" he offered.

"How bout we save that for next time, uhm, why don't you describe to me what you're doing, and maybe I can help with technique." Dean knew it was low, but the blood that was supposed to be effectively pumping to his brain was currently running down instead of up.

"I don't understand.. I mean I'm holding it and moving my hand up and down, thus causing friction and masturbating."

Dean almost laughed and cried simultaneously, that voice of Cas' was driving him fucking nuts… but the angel had no experience in dirty talk of any kind and it made things unpolished at best. He slipped his boxers over his hips and lifted his ass off the bed to pull them off completely, his flushed cock bouncing back tightly against his stomach.

"Okay listen up we're gonna have to work on how you think things, and say things when you're jacking off. I know you're not the same stiff robot I met in that barn in Illinois. You have one of the largest vocabularies of anyone I know, and while smart is sexy, using words in their base form can be kind of hot too. Instead of copulate or whatever else you would use, just say fuck. You see what I'm saying?" Dean teased himself by just running his fingers over the taut nubs on his chest, trying to stay interested but not wanting to get off too quickly.

"FUCK Dean!" Castiel moaned and for a second Dean could have easily mistaken him for a damn professional.

Cas saying his name was clearly too much for his overcharged erection, precum began to leak from the head and he knew that if he touched himself at all, he'd be lost. The slick white gloss covered the tip and trickled onto his stomach. He decided it was now or never, just jump feet first into whatever the hell this was gonna be.

"Mmm that's it baby, I want you to watch your hand stroking your cock, see the smooth slide of it. I bet it looks nice like that, all hard and flushed and begging to cum. Squeeze the tip, and concentrate on the pleasure you're feeling, and mmmm yeah.. and tell me how good it is. I want to hear how pulling on it makes you feel, what you're thinking about when you do it."

"I thought you only used the word baby when talking about the Impala."

Dean could practically see the head tilt, and fuck if that didn't just rev things up even more. Damn angel had him gone seven ways to Sunday if he found the dorky quirk hot.

"Usually yeah, but when you're being intimate with someone, sometimes pet names are fine.. things like baby, honey, sexy, darlin', and sweetheart. I mean.. if you don't want me to.."

"No! No no it's fine..actually it was..I mean.. uhm"

"What is it Cas? You can tell me."

"I wouldn't have expected it, but the term was quite arousing. I mean.. it was hot, it was really really hot."

He smiled as Cas attempted to take his advice and use more basic words, but he had to admit that there was something off about the way they left the Angel's mouth. Dean wasn't going to last much longer and he was not a fan of cumming first in any scenario, he was a gentleman first and foremost, despite what most people probably thought.

"Okay we're at the listen and learn part of the lesson, I'm just gonna start saying stuff, and you tell me what works for you by giving a moan, saying yes, or just saying my name okay?"

"Yes Dean, that's a good idea."

"Fuck Cas, so hard right now thinking about you stroking your cock . Did you know I was touching myself, I couldn't help it. I tried not to at first, I just wanted to focus on helping you, but damn that sex voice of your's Angel, it drives me fucking crazy."

Castiel had already moaned a couple times, so Dean knew he was on the right track but he wanted to give Cas a second to properly respond so he paused.

"Damnit Dean, this is so much better, so much more intense than it's ever been before, don't stop.. please don't stop."

He can hear the pants growing quicker, Castiel far more excited now than he had been when their conversation started. Dean let himself reach down now, he could hear the urgency it wouldn't be long before he heard the sound of his Angel cum.

"Mmm that's it sexy, I'll make it good for you just keep stroking that cock for me, I wanna hear you cum Cas, I want you to scream my name as you do it too. Come on baby, lemme hear that fucking scream Castiel."

That's when the sound ripped through his ears, hell if he hadn't been wearing a headset it might have caused some minor hearing damage. Castiel screamed his name just as Dean had asked and it nearly made him shoot immediately. He pumped himself a couple more times thinking about what Cas' face would look like when he came and that was enough to send him over the edge as well.

"FUUUUCK CASSSS!" He moaned into the phone, his body vibrating through the final shocks of his giant fucking orgasm.

Things went quiet very quickly and he wasn't sure what to say, or if he should say all. Dean Winchester was the king of hiding emotion, not so much with expressing it. Luckily for him things had always been easy with Cas, would always be that way with the Angel, perhaps something in that whole profound bond thing.

"Thank you Dean, that was very helpful."

He could feel the happiness radiating through the phone and he couldn't resist the even more blissed out smile creeping up his face. It was nice to get off sure, but making Cas happy was like a drug. The guy had so little good in his life since Dean had known him, it was really nice to feel that he could make it just a little better from time to time.

"Anytime Cas..I mean.. you know.. if you want."

"Did you… enjoy yourself Dean? I don't want you to do this out of obligation to.."

"Just hold it right there buddy, I dunno what's gonna happen now. I sure as hell don't know what it means.. but I promise you this was no obligation.. I .. ah hell man you know .. I care about you and stuff, it was nice.. I really meant the anytime, If it helps you out, well that's just bonus."

"Okay, I'd really like that… I think it might not be such a chore this way."

"Yeah Cas, wouldn't be much of a chore at all."

They hung up their phones about twenty minutes later and Dean fell asleep with the biggest smile he'd had on his face in years. It was more than just a good time, it was the start of something significant for both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: This is NOT SMUT like the previous chapter! I might go back and fill in some happier moments before this happens, but I set out to do three calls and this is the second on the list~ It's angsty, MOC!Dean and I dunno just read it .. if you want ~ 3**_

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The asphalt peeled beneath the Impala's tires as he pulled up to the bunker, the silence when he cut the engine was even more deafening than it had been the last two hours. Sam hesitated, he was going to say something Dean could see it clearly, but didn't want to hear about yet another way he'd so royally fucked up. He shifted quickly, pulling the handle and pushing himself out of the car with as little sound as possible. He grabbed his bag from the back and slung it over his shoulder, and the growl that came after was not willingly released. The mark on his arm already burning, began to scorch when the polyester handle of his duffle rubbed against it.

He practically ran to the door, hopped down to the landing, and took the stairs two at a time. He wanted to be clean again, wanted to feel...not so empty. He finally made it into the shower, he should have known it wouldn't change anything, he still felt wrong, worse than he had in years. He crawled up against the memory foam of his mattress, his phone faintly ringing in the background while he ignored it and did everything he could think of to not see the similarities between himself and the man who had given him the mark.

-Later-.

Dean had effectively dodged phone calls for weeks, he answered texts usually and claimed he was too busy to actually talk. Occasionally he was, and he always felt less guilty about those times, than all the ones he'd immediately thought of something he could do at the precise moment he heard the ringtone that was now mocking him. He just had to make it through, Cas couldn't make this go away but once Abaddon was gone they could work things out, he could set things back to rights again.

He could feel himself change, as he held that blade for the first time, it had some massive side effects. To be honest that old trixter of a bastard Magnus, reminded him of Gabriel in a lot of ways, and Dean…the good in Dean knew that he should feel bad about that, but the feeling of power radiating through his body was raw and magnetic, it was fulfilling to say the least. He felt keener, stronger, faster, and being a hunter those were some of his finest qualities. Being better at the job, was always something he'd need, it kept him up and walking around. He pushed the earbuds in and drifted off to the sound of a neverending drum.

He hadn't even noticed when the texts started filtering out slowly, mainly because he had inadvertently sent a clear message that he didn't like being disturbed to the now again Angel. Dean couldn't fault the guy for taking his grace back, but hell if he could just overlook the fact that dude was juiced up again. It was different when Cas was human, it evened out the playing field a little and made him not feel like a soulsucking parasite that fed off of those around him. Now though, now Castiel had his mojo back and things were different, despite that he wished so badly they weren't.

-Even Later-.

"Damnit Dean."

The only two words in existence as far as he can tell, its certainly all he's heard over the last couple hours. It's relentless, and the way the phrase cuts him down each time, as if it were the last thing he was ever going to hear. The mark on his arm still burning, and he thinks if he's lucky, maybe it will be.  
He thought Cas of all people would understand, he was just doing what needed to be done. One weapon could kill the bitch, only one person could wield it, and lucky for them he was the perfect match, Cain sure as hell wasn't man enough to do it. So maybe the terms and conditions weren't perfect, but at least he'd figured out a way.

-Later Still-

They were getting closer, sure Abaddon was harvesting souls, but he was getting stronger every day. The blood like fire in his veins, his father's training was nothing compared to how fast, how dangerous he was now. Dean had always prided himself on being the best hunter around. Because it was all he ever was, and if he couldn't be anything else, he would absolutely be the best. There were times when Sam was just as good, even without the Demon Blood Monster Brew, but not anymore. Sam was getting older and a little slower, but Dean, well he was feeling rejuvenated.

He smiled when he saw the Vamp's hand release to his own strength, he wanted the bastard to watch him smile when he chopped his friggin' head off. He was a little drunk on power as he moved to cut Sam from his restraints, and when he was reminded of Jody he jumped back into action, only to find out Sheriff Mills was pretty badass all on her own. She'd beaten him to the punch and taken out the "Mama" of the nest, and thankfully the girl hadn't been turned yet. He ignored the slight disappointment that came with no more urgency on the monster killing front. It wasn't like he was an adrenaline junkie, he just enjoyed the job and there was nothing wrong with that, despite Sam's judgemental glares.

It caught him off guard that's how it happened, he'd basically given up on the Angel calling him anymore he assumed it was Crowley, and when he answered the specific ringtone hadn't even registered.

"Yeah, whaddya want?"

"Hello Dean."

It still felt good to hear him say those words, even through the haze of power that was vibrating inside his veins, he felt it's significance. It always seemed to calm him down, that small phrase more easily taken in, when the last two words were so damaging. He steeled his resolve to not let his emotions get mixed up in this, it was best for everyone Cas included if he just focused on killing Ababbitch.

"Yeah Cas what's up?"

"I am sorry if I've bothered you, but I was hoping we could talk for a little while, I...I could use a friend Dean."

He wanted so badly to find something, anything else he could do to run away from this conversation but the pleading sounds in the Angel's voice were enough to keep him firmly planted against his beloved mattress with the phone still attached to his ear. He began to notice the mind-numbing burn weaken, the harsh daze faded out bringing a surprising amount of clarity.

"Sure buddy, what's goin on?"

"Dean, I'm burning up from the inside.. it feels like falling all over again, a constant state of physical and mental torture. The "mojo" as you'd call it is not working out well, it's not my grace and it's acting as a foreign agent inside my body, and I don't know how to make it stop. It's going to kill me I believe."

"You never told me how you got it in the first place Cas, might wanna start there…"

There were many times throughout his friendship with Castiel that he longed to hear the Angel refer to it as a body rather than a vessel, but this wasn't how he wanted it. Life always seemed to screw him that way, giving him what he wanted and then using it to fuck him over a barrel.

He'd wanted Sammy back on the road with him. Saving people, hunting things. All that had led to was forty years in hell, and the motherfucking apocalypse, not to mention all the shit that's gone on since then. Now his brother won't even look at him without anger or pity pouring out of those fucking puppy eyes, it was enough to drive anyone batshit crazy.

He'd wanted Cas, and suffered almost constantly around the Angel for years before just accepting it. He'd gotten a glimpse at what they could be, and then he'd just gone and powered back up like it was fucking nothing. Throwing their relationship or whatever the hell it was to the side and taking back his power, well now Dean had his own power and he didn't need the bullshit they'd started. Didn't mean he couldn't listen, if for no other reason than it made the mark stop burning long enough to ease his restlessness.

"I, stole it. I was foolish and prayed like a normal human and a very kind and good Angel answered my prayers, and she tried to help me and her repayment was a blade in the chest. Then I was captured and tortured for far beyond what a normal human body could withstand, but once Malachi left me alone with Theo I begged for death, prayed even that it would be quick."

"Wait a minute, I mean I know this is important and I don't mean to go offroad here.. but you're telling me there's an Angel named Theo? Gabriel was the closest one to an actual name up until now..You've got Uriel, Muriel, Balthazar, Malachai, SAMANDRIEL? and Theo? What the hell did your daddy run out of crazy fucked up names for his kids?" Dean scoffed at the idea.

"This coming from the man who thought Zepplin was an ideal name for a child.'

"Hey! that was a secret, we agreed to never talk about it again."

"Actually you agreed and I held my tongue."

Dean wasn't going to sit and think about Cas' tongue any longer than absolutely necessary so he rerouted the conversation back to the original point.

"So you're being tortured and praying for death, yadda yadda, then what happened?"

"Theo believed me to be consorting with Metatron and I insisted I wasn't… until he asked me to put in a good word for him, have him lifted back to heaven. He knew that the way they were waging war on the other Angles, that there would be no survivors and he did not wish to meet death so soon. I manipulated him into letting me out of the manacles and as a reward I sliced into his throat and took his Grace."

"Wow man, I mean I dunno what you want from me here."

Dean's head reeled around the fact that Cas killed someone who was trying to help him, even if it was the one who'd tortured him to begin with. He tried to apply logic to it, convincing himself that if Castiel had killed the man it was only because he needed to cover his ass to get out of wherever it was they'd taken him to. But something inside him was fighting the logic and deep down he hoped it wasn't right.

"I.. I don't know either Dean I just, I just wanted to talk to you.. to tell you what this is doing to me, sometimes when we talk it the agony subsides inside me."

He could certainly empathize with that feeling, hell the mark wasn't so much as tingling by now and he dreaded the moment they hung up. It was in fact the clarity of his mind at the moment that caused his own story-telling-hour.

"If it helps I'm pretty damn sure this mark is doing the same thing to me." he tried to laugh it off but the chuckle lodged in his throat and wouldn't escape.

'Why would it help me to know that you are in pain? I would do anything I could to help you avoid just that, but I suppose it's been done and I'm not sure it can be undone. Do you wish that I speak with Cain, perhaps ask for a way out?"

"What am I a four year old who needs his mommy to go ask the bad man to take back his gift? No I don't want you to go talk to him Cas, it's … fuck it's not.. It would be a suicide mission anyway.. that man would kill you, or more likely have you killed if only to screw with me some more. Just forget it.. I mean the point I was making anyway was that it's .. ya know easier to be the real me with you sometimes.. I just.. when I'm not talking to you or with you it's hard for me to want to be the real me, I crave the power and blood and nothing else matters."

"Do you want me to come back to the bunker?"

Dean could hear the timidness of his question, as if he were unsure of the rejection and scolding that would come. He hated himself for instilling this into Castiel, but he wasn't about to willingly be physically closer to the guy. It was hard enough dealing with all the emotional shit when Cas was away but if he was staring him in the face constantly, well that would be enough to break him.

"Nah man you've got Angel stuff and Sammy and I are headed out anyway.. gonna go kill some monsters… I'll see ya around Cas."

'Yes, please do."

He laid back with his eyes closed and felt the heat start to erupt through his body, it wasn't logical the way Cas could numb it, but it was real all the same. He pushed his bulky headphones over his ears effectively blocking out anything that wasn't Metallica, and was hell bent on believing that despite the ill effects, he was doing what was best for everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: First Paragraph contains descriptive violence, of Dean killing Abaddon.. if you can't read those it's fine skip over them and I think you should still be fine**_

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Dean knew it was getting worse, he almost didn't stop. Not even when he heard the faint sound of his brother's voice. He just plunged the blade into the already mutilated flesh below him. The tight crunch of bones breaking, and the blood splattering against his face went unnoticed. Abaddon was far beyond what could have been determined as dead, now he was just desecrating what was left of the poor woman she'd possessed. His body shook violently after Sam had finally brought him out of the trance and he'd stopped chopping away at the bits that were left of her.

It was a long trip back to the bunker and he wasn't in the mood to talk, Sam kept looking at him like he was scared that his brother was turning into a monster. He could understand that in some ways, hell he might even admit to having looked at Sammy that way a couple times when he was powered up on demon juice. However, being on the receiving end of it did not feel good. After a quick shower he slammed the door to his room hoping his brother had heard it.

His eyes fall to the small picture of his mother on the bedside table and he can't help but feel guilty. Mary herself had told him that this was never the life she'd wanted for them. She wanted her boys to grow up in a world that didn't have monsters hiding under the bed, that wasn't filled with Angels and Demons using them as a playground, but that's not how things were. Dean had thought once or twice about what it would have been like had John dealt with the death of his wife in a more natural way, but it didn't do him well to focus on those thoughts.

He laid awake in his bed for most of the night unable to find sleep behind the darkness of his eyelids. He wasn't sure if it was the mark, the blade, or both. But something was causing a deafening roar in his head, a migraine inducing throb that even the classic bourbon from the bunker couldn't stave off. His body moved slower when the blade was out of grasp but he couldn't stand the pressure of its hold much longer. He needed something to help him see clearly even if just for a minute, Without thinking his fingers were pressing the buttons on on his phone and he'd lifted it to his ear.

"Hello Dean."

Almost instantly he felt peace, the deep rumble of the Angel's voice soothing and repairing all the broken parts of his mind. A smile crept up his face, it had been so long since his lips formed the gesture that it felt foreign to him. Cas always managed to pull that out of him despite the situation. Some of his happiest times were when the shit was hitting the fan and it was them against the world, an ex- demon blood junkie, a drop-out with only a little more than six bucks to his name, and a nerdy little dude with wings.

"Hey Cas, How you been?" He asks knowing that there are more important things to discuss but even the best part of himself that yearned to make the call, couldn't let down the barriers protecting him. He covered his face with his hand and ran a finger tightly down both sides of the bridge of his nose doing everything he could to dissuade himself from exploding like a volcano.

"I am not well but I can't speak about it just yet, would you mind talking just for a few moments please. Then I'll tell you what I can."

Of course Cas had to throw the spotlight back on him, even unknowingly the Angel pushed buttons and brought out more than Dean ever intended to share. It was the last thread in a broken and frayed rope that was his resistance. It came out far too quickly but he relayed the entire story. He told how Crowley let him know it was a trap, how despite his better judgement he sent Sam off separately in an attempt to keep him safe. That at the time he thought that was the reason, but now thinking back on it maybe he just didn't want his baby brother to see him like that, or he didn't want Sam to stop him he wasn't even sure anymore. The event flowed from his lips like a flooded bathtub, pouring more and more of himself out until Cas turned off the spout.

"Dean I'm..I'm worried about you and I want to help you..I just don't know how. I'm afraid right now I need to use my time wisely, I'm finally alone and I wish to discuss what I couldn't earlier."

Despite the raw emotional state of the hunter he still managed a quip and a cocky grin.

"Cas, it's been a while now but I don't know that this is the time to jerk off, but hell if it's that important to ya.."

"Dean this is serious, Josiah has disappeared, and other things are happening. I thought maybe I could explain, but I don't think we should speak about it over the phone, I'm not sure it's safe."

"Uh not sure what you want me to do about it then?"

"If you and Sam could come here, I would explain everything face to face."

Dean swallowed hard at the idea that he was going to be working with Cas so closely again. His body went into overdrive with excitement as his mind tried everything to fight it off. The tight muscles begging to be touched to feel something, and his heart failing to find a single reason to stop. The pads of his fingers like fire against his torso as he slid down the flattened skin to the rough denim waistband of his jeans.

"Yeah I think we could do that." Deans voice raspy with need.

"Thank you, it would be beneficial for everyone."

Dean coughed quietly still unsure about how to initiate anything with an Angel...that is if Cas even wanted to anymore. He might just use his Angel mojo to "make it go away" like he said he'd done before.

"How unsafe is this phone line exactly?"

"I don't understand...I don't believe the phone is going to attack me, but I have reason to believe that we shouldn't discuss Angel business on it."

Dean let out a hearty laugh and the corner of his lips drew into a smile involuntarily. Castiel...his Angel, had no idea how funny he could be, how much happiness he'd brought into his life since that dusty barn in Illinois. Dean wasn't sure why he let go that night, but if you were to ask him, he would say it was just a matter of time. He knew his resistance would break the next day when they were in the same room. The truth though, was the laugh that left his lips that night was just one big sign that he needed Castiel, needed him more than the air in his lungs, or the drug causing an undeniable bloodlust inside him.

"Cas..I need..I need you." The huskiness of his voice must have surprised the Angel but not enough to reassure him of Dean's intentions, well not completely because he asked to be certain.

"What do you need me for Dean?" it was tentative, he could hear the uncertainty echoing through his ears.

"Fuck Cas, just let me have this one last time.. I can't ..I miss you Angel.. I need to know even if it's just for tonight, I just need to know you still want me, that I've not completely screwed everything up, that you still believe in me." The unwilling tears rolled down his cheeks and he stopped moving his hand lower.. he wanted it to be more than just two friends helping one another out, he needed it to be more than that.

Dean expected rejection or best case scenario maybe the "I gave everything up for you" spiel, but he was shocked when the Angel responded with a thunderous growl. It was a sound he hadn't heard since the alley where Cas nearly beat him to death with his own two hands for his decision to say yes to Michael.

"You are lucky that I am unable to physically lay hands on you at the moment Dean Winchester…I will hear nothing negative from your lips again tonight are we clear?"

"Yes..Cas.. I just.. Don't make me beg."

The moan he normally would have choked down escaped like an outcry for help as he began to palm himself through his jeans. The slight pressure of the rough fabric against his aching cock wasn't enough. His hands fumbled over the buttons to get them off, he needed to be bare, he had to feel the skin himself. His thumbs curled under the waistband and jerked them toward his feet. With both layers of denim and cotton peeled away, he grabbed the sensitive head and bucked wildly at the overwhelming sensations he was felt at that the moment. His emotions were raw and vivid, erupting in broken cries and aching moans.

Castiel had been listening, memorizing what coaxed an orgasm out of his lover. Usually Dean responded most to the way Cas would describe what he was doing to himself, after he navigated the best ways to say it. Despite the fact that their bond hadn't been physically consummated, he could still break the barriers so thickly built around the Hunter's resolve. If Dean wanted to know how he felt, the best way he could think of would be to show him. If he could not worship the perfectly formed body with his hands and his mouth, then he would use his words.

"I think of your hands on my skin, the way you'd feel touching me and it starts a fire that roars in my chest. My body aches for you in ways I didn't know were possible until I felt the true nature of humanity. I can still see my grace fluidly climbing the channels of your soul, and if I close my eyes that image alone causes the blood in my veins pump faster to the flesh in my hand."

"Cas please… I need."

"I'm almost ready for you, I've been opening myself in hopes of the actual physical act of joining of our bodies and it makes me feel empty without you here. I think about you inside me and beads of sweat form on my skin in a suffocating heat that I can't describe. It feels so beautiful to touch myself, and think of how it would be to have you in my bed, in my body, in my heart."

Dean broke quickly that night everything inside of him was humming with an electric ecstasy that could only be described as heaven, not the real one of course.. that place was a fucking nightmare at the moment, no the kind of heaven people thought existed, the hypothetical place where everything is bright and perfect.

The rush of happiness lasted through the hilarious wakeup call he gave Sammy, their morning coffee, and almost two states of their trip. Slowly the negative started to filter back into his mind poisoning the radical thoughts that he'd used to comfort himself. His brother in the seat next to him was giving him the cold shoulder, hell the guy didn't even consider him family anymore. Why should he break his back for someone that doesn't give a damn about him now, wouldn't care if he ended up in a ditch somewhere. It was nearly an hour later when he found himself trying to remember the sound of his Angel's voice but hearing nothing but the static roar caused by the mark.


End file.
